Five years ago, one of the most traumatic events of my (admittedly sheltered) life happened. I got trapped in Spanx in a Nordstrom dressing room. Here’s how it happened.

Yesterday, I met up with my dear friend Craig at a local Mexican joint here in Dallas for lunch. We were seated at 12:30 and, after what I thought was just an hour or two of fun conversation, I looked at my watch and realized it was 5:10 – and I needed to pick up my perfect, adorable children within 20 minutes…in our neighborhood 30 minutes away. Ever since we met as Hillary Clinton delegates to the Texas State Democratic Convention (yes, such a thing exists) years ago, so is my life with the Southern Belle who is Miss Craig McCartney.